The below post is not written by me. It is written by an anonymous author as part of a blog share event. Please see my post here about the Blog Share if you have no idea what's going on. And, give a warm welcome to my anonymous friend.
First things, first. I'm on three medications for depression and anxiety.
But, I don't want anyone to know.
You know the movie about the Stepford Wives? Where everything is perfectly perfect on the outside? Or, basically, any other portrayal of Suburbia... where there's chaos inside, but nobody knows about it, because we women have to put on a perfect front?
I don't know if it's just a personality thing or if it was something about the way I was raised, but I cannot let people know I have imperfections. I'm always happy, work is fantastic, and life is wonderful!
Thing is, it usually is. Things for me are really awesome. And I usually am really happy. And I adore my job. There's just this one thing.
I have depression.
Maybe part of my fear about sharing is that it seems nobody understands depression. NO, I'm not sad all the time. NO, nothing traumatic happened in my childhood. NO, I don't want to kill myself. And NO, my medication does not turn me into a robot or make me a different person.
I just have a debilitating illness that prevents me from sleeping well, gives me neck pain and headaches, and sometimes forces to me to lay on the couch for hours not doing anything. The ONLY way I can help alleviate that is with my medication. It makes me feel normal. It allows me to get up.
So, why can't I tell anyone?
8 comments:
i dont think its anything to be ashamed about...more people are living with depression than you know. at least you are taking care of it...and if it means you don't tell people, well, thats what you need to do. make yourself happy...not anyone else.
I think it's hard for some of us to admit weakness of any kind. And hey, if the medication helps you, why do you need to tell anyone? If you're not comfortable with people knowing about your depression, there's nothing wrong with not telling them. It's your personal business, and it's fine to keep it to yourself. And I totally agree that depression is a widely misunderstood disease.
I think one day you'll find yourself sharing it some one matter-of-factly without even realizing and then you'll be free from the "shame" of having depression. Once you share it, I truly believe you'll be free from it, but it needs to happen whenever you're ready and not when others tell you to do so.
Mental illness of any kind is, I think, the last taboo. People cannot see it, so they cannot figure it out. Because it manifests itself in so many ways, attempts by others to rationalise it for themselves are not always successful. Why can one person take a pill and be fine while another cannot go to work.
This is a great post and a great lesson in the dangers of pigeon-holing mental illness, particularly, depression and anxiety disorders.
Thanks for sharing it.
I'd like to take a moment to thank the author of this post for allowing me (the normal author of this blog) to host this secret.
It was actually an appropriate random assignment, as I suffer from Bi-Polar Disorder and can empathize with the writer. I've been on and off medication for a long time, and I, too, am often scared to tell people about the whole thing. I don't know what to say other than to be strong and true to yourself. The people who love you (and even the ones who merely like you) will continue to do so no matter what.
Thank you again.
It's not a weakness- it's a medical condition. Just like diabetes or heart disease.
I hope that you will tell the people that you want to know about this and that they will be supportive. But you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.
Nothing to be ashamed of. It's an illness, and you explained it very well. I'm really glad that medication works for you.
Whenever someone pretends not to understand, explain it just the way you did here. If he still pretends not to understand, he's not your friend.
I think this was an amazing opportunity for everyone involved to unburden themselves.
Angela, You are so brave reaching out to your anonymous poster and reassuring them they are not alone.
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